


New Years Blues

by krazyk2314



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, F/M, Fluff, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, New Years, Reader Insert, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5606968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazyk2314/pseuds/krazyk2314
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader doesn't feel like celebrating the New Year, and Cas comes to check up on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Years Blues

"Come on Y/N, since when have you turned down the opportunity to hang out and drink at a bar? Especially on New Years Eve! Tonight's the best night to go out and party!" Your best buddy Dean pleaded, trying to get his partner in crime pumped up.

But no matter what he did, nothing would change your mind. You didn't feel like going out and celebrating. You just felt like staying home, cuddled in your favorite pajamas, enjoying time alone. Hunting with two men didn't leave for much personal time, and you were starting to feel caged in and claustrophobic. 

"Dean, it will be fine. You and Sam go have fun. Find yourself a pretty girl to kiss at midnight. I'm just going to stay here, in comfy clothes, and catch up on some of my shows." You responded, before Sam came bounding down the stairs, dressed in a nice button down shirt.

"Hey Y/N, why aren't you dressed yet?" Sam asked when he saw you standing there in your polka dot sleep pants and black shirt you had snitched from Dean.

Dean answered for you. "Y/N, doesn't want to go. She wants to be unsociable and stay here and watch her tv shows."

Finally, you had been able to push the two men out the door, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You needed the time to yourself. The starting of a new year always seemed to drag your spirits down. You couldn't describe your exact feelings, but while everyone was planning their resolutions and goals for the next year, you were just hoping to survive. 

Each year, since you were sixteen, your goal for the new year had been the same, and you were tired of it. While other woman your age were wanting to lose weight, settle down, have a family, your goal was to stay alive, to survive the hunts the next year brought you. You were starting to wonder if it was worth it anymore.

Knowing your mood would just go downhill from here, you grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and threw on one of Dean's old coats and your boots before sitting down on the steps outside. The bunker was located at least ten miles from the nearest town, and was completely surrounded by trees. You always enjoyed sitting outside, listening to the quiet sounds the forest provided.

Shivering, you took a sip of the whiskey, the liquid fire burning down your throat before the warmth pooled in your stomach. As you slowly sipped from the bottle, you watched as snowflakes started falling,  soon they started coating the ground in front of you in a blanket of white. Tears started forming in your eyes, as you thought about what layed ahead for you in the new year. No matter what you told yourself, you couldn't see a future for yourself besides hunting, and that thought depressed you more than you cared to admit.

"Y/N, why are you outside, it is snowing." A deep gravelly voice said from behind you, causing you to jump and lose your hold of the whiskey bottle. You watched as it rolled down the stairs, before slowly emptying into the snow. It seemed to happen in slow motion, but you couldn't care enough to move and stop it.

Cas sighed, before settling his trench coat around your shoulders and sitting down next to you. That broke you out of your spell, and you realized that Castiel was only in his suit coat. "Cas, take your coat back, you'll freeze!" You stated, trying to shrug it from your shoulders, but Cas shook his head no.

"I do not feel the cold as you do Y/N, and I do not wish to see you sick. Now why are you sitting out here in the cold? I came at once, when you weren't with Sam and Dean at the bar."

Taking a deep breath, you answered. "I just didn't feel like being around people." You answered, hoping he would leave it alone, but of course the clueless angel wouldn't. 

He leaned down and picked up the whiskey bottle, and handed it back to you. Rubbing it through your hands, you wanted to take a drink, and drown all your sorrows, but something held you back.

"I think there's more to it than that." Cas told you, and you could feel the tears burning for release, just a simple gesture of concern enough to touch your heart.

"It just seems useless, to me. Why celebrate a new year, when it's going to end up being the same exact thing as this year? I'll hunt, I'll get hurt, hopefully I won't die. Nothing new. No new exciting plans to look forward to. I'm just getting tired of it, it's exhausting pretending to be happy when you feel like a shell of a person." You exclaimed before taking a big gulp of the whiskey.

Cas reached down, and placed one of his warm hands on top of yours, causing you to look up into his cerulean blue eyes in confusion. 

"I didn't know you felt this way, do Sam and Dean know?" Cas continued when you shook your head no. "I'm sorry you feel this way, I wish I had known sooner. No one needs to feel this way by themselves, they should always have someone to, what's your saying, lay on?"

His butchering of the English language caused you to chuckle. "Lean on, Cas, it's Lean on."

 

"Oh," he replied, before pulling you so your head was resting on his shoulder. "Well, I hope you know you can always lean on me."

Closing your eyes, you let yourself enjoy the moment of being close to your Angel. Ever since you had been introduced, you had always had a slight crush on him, but kept it to your self. You knew a relationship was never a part of a hunters life, hence why you were in such a low mood.

"Thanks Cas, that means a lot, especially coming from you."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder before answering, "Anything for the girl that causes my heart to flutter when she is near. Dean explained to me that this means I might be in love with you."

Pulling back, your eyes wide in shock, you studied his face, trying to see for yourself if he was truthful. While you were sitting in shock, Cas glanced at the clock on the phone that Dean had forced him to get. "Y/N, Dean told me about this human tradition, and I would like to try it, is that okay with you?"

You shook your head, waiting to see what he was up to. Cas watched his phone intently, his brows creased in concentration. 

"Cas?" You started, but he held up his finger to stop you. Finally, he smiled and looked up, leaning forward until your noses were almost touching. He then gently placed his lips against yours, a shy, unsure kiss. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pulled him closer, and changed the angle of your face, deepening the kiss. Moments passed, before you finally came up for air.

"Did I do it right? Dean said you were supposed to kiss the person you love at midnight, that way you ended one year and started the next with them." He said, unconsciously biting his lip in nervousness. 

Happy, you layed your head on his shoulder, waiting until he wrapped his arms around you. "You did it perfectly Cas, Happy New Year."

Maybe this coming year you would have something else to look forward to, besides hunting. The thought left you giddy, and you reached up to kiss your Angel once more.

**Author's Note:**

> I just think Cas would be great to have as a friend, I think he would be a great listener, and I wish we all had a person like Cas. Much love to all who read this!!


End file.
